The gingerbread sub-division

If you lived here, you’d be home by now.

.

Gingerbread houses.  They are not something to take lightly.  Holy cow, what an undertaking.  I remember decorating these with my Mom and siblings every year -  I don’t remember Mom staying up till 2am the night before cutting and baking all the pieces.  It’s possible that the reason I don’t remember this is that Mom is a lot better at time management than I am, but I choose to believe it’s because I was sleeping through the boring part just like my kids did.

Mom always used the recipes and instructions out of these books.  I have the complete set, (not sure I can describe the joy one feels when they find the entire library of craft books their mother used for all their childhood projects at the flea market for 10 bucks.  Sweet.) and went straight to them when I decided to do this.  One look at the gingerbread recipe (I have to use the candy thermometer? Really?) and I went to the net to find something easier.  What can I say?  I’m lazy.

My search led me here, which is just about the weirdest cookie recipe of all time.  It says right across the top “cook time: 2 hours”, and I guess it was my bad to assume they meant that’s how long it would take from start to finish.  If you scroll down to the bottom, you’ll find that they want you to cook this stuff at 275 for two hours.

The hell?

I’ve been making cookies for a long time.  Never have I heard such nonsense.  When the recipe had me start out making whipped cream, I should’ve known they were cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs right then and found a different one.  In the end, I cut a little cookie out of the dough and baked it at about 375 for 10 min and it worked out just fine.  Who comes up with these things?  And who doesn’t bother to read an entire recipe before she makes 9 cups of dough?  And who doesn’t just use the one her mother used for 30 years that she already knows comes out tasting good and is strong enough to hold up a house?  Anyway – onto the pictures.

By the time the kids woke up, this is what the gingerbread fairy had left in the kitchen – 3 bases, and 3 little stacks of house parts.  Violet immediatly went back to her room and switched her princess nightgown for these cookie jammies.  We’re all about dressing appropriately for an activity around here.

.

Mom and Dad do the actual construction, while our eager little helpers crowd around, bumping the cardboard every 4 seconds. (I think you can tell a lot about a person, based on whether they use 72 blocks to prop up every part of their house, or the just stand it up and frost it and hope for the best.  For the record, they all remained standing.  Even with Earthquake Jonas in the room.)

.

All put together and awaiting the delicate decorating hand of a four year old.

.

At this point we took a break to decorate something like 83 dozen cookies.  Details and 47,000 pictures of that party can be found on the other blog.  Doing this gave the houses a couple of hours to set up, and when we went back to decorate they were strong enough to survive the kids.

Hmm.  Maybe just *one* more orange slice over here….

.

The back of V’s house.  She completely surprised me with the happy face.  I love this kid.

.

These two are “true loves” and they are “laying in the grass, looking at the clouds together.”  Joe made the one on the left.  Love that nose.

.

The m&m’s here are a “giant snake that’s sneaking up on the true loves.”  It’s not all sunshine and roses with these houses.

.

Jonas’s house. He was very interested in getting as much candy and green sugar as possible on the lawn, not so much interested in anything else.  Roof design by Joe.  (Whoa – what happened to Violet’s back there?  Mice?)

.

And the house I made to give away.  Joe made that snowman for me out of my giant homemade marshmallows.  Lawn sprinkles by Jonas.  After we were done with the cookies, we dumped all the spilled sugar and chips and sprinkles that were under his rack into one bowl and called it the “party mix”.  Jonas seemed to think my house needed a bit more of a “party” vibe.

.

Last one – artsy extreme close up of the roof.  These gumdrops look so pretty, and taste so awful.  Spice drops – I smite thee, spice drops.  How on earth do you defend a red, sugared, gummy candy that tastes like black jelly-beans?  Bleck.

.

And that’s how we ended up with a gingerbread sub-division on our kitchen table.  Quick poll – does everyone out there agree that these things are to be eaten?  Because every single craft book or website I consulted during the great recipe hunt then had an icing recipe (we won’t even go into my panic attack when I read these.  Hopefully nobody will get salmonella.) and a section on “preserving your gingerbread house.”  The hell?  Preserving?  Like then you put it away and take it back out next year as part of your Christmas decoration.  Does this not seem like the absolute meanest form of kid-torture you’ve ever heard of?  I’d like to take a moment right here, to thank my Mother for never suggesting we “preserve” our houses.  For the love.

We’ve been eating these for breakfast.  Tis the season (to find your fat jeans.)

I hope everyone out there is behaving themselves.  Santa’s watching!

Tis the (crafting) season!

The kiddos and I have been very busy, crafting our way through the month of December.  Some of the things we have made are gifts, so I can’t show them just yet (Hi Mom), but all the construction paper decorations?  Brace yourselves.

Here we have both the paper chain that Joe and the kids (well, mostly Joe) made, and also the Fruit Loop garland that Violet and I made (while Jonas ate them by the handful out of the bowl.  It was like a race to see who would win – would we get a decent length of garland?  Or would Jonas eat too many before we could string them.  And if Jonas really at that many Fruit Loops, who would be responsible for cleaning up the technicolor puke 30 min later?  Competivie crafting – gotta love the adreniline rush.)  I think this is the happiest, most fun tree on the planet.

.

What is the secret to photographing these things?  Should I have stood outside to take the picture?  I guess then the would look white instead of black. I did the top two of these, Violet did the other three.  We are the snowflake masters.

.

Killing me with cuteness.  I’ll never buy a card again.  She came up with the format for these all on her own – Christmas tree on the front, picture of her and the people she was sending the card to inside, “from Violet” and a bunch of hearts on the back.  Sooooo cute.  (This one is to Aunty Suz and Uncle Matt.  If you look you see Violet, then Suz, then me (not sure how I snuck in there), then Matt.  Matt is obviously the one that works outside – look at that tan!  I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that the other three all got some kind of skin color added, but I stayed the color of the paper. Hmph.)

.

When we ran out of glue sticks,  it was time to try something new.  Enter the shrinky dinks –

Please excuse the cookie crumbs on her face.  We’ve also been doing a lot of baking.

.

I found this lone set on the shelves of the NEX and snatched it up.  We started by making these charms, and then I added them to this necklace, along with some tiny bells.  She. Loves. It.  She has been wearing it every day, and is so besotted with the concept of making her own jewelry (which is pretty exciting for me, as I got her a big charm maker thing for Christmas.  Watch this space for tons of very chic jewels. )

After we had exhausted the plastic accessories options, Jonas and I made this ornament –

Can you see his hat here?  The top section is  a black hat.  I don’t know why I have the need to point that out, but there it is.

.

- which I looooooove.  It came out exactly like I pictured it, and it was a fun and simple project that the toddler could do with me.  I drew the circles, he colored the heck out of them with a white pencil, and then he directed me while I drew on the coal, carrot, and scarf.  We cut them out together, he punched the holes for the jump-rings, then we watched the magic that is a shrinky dink in the toaster oven.  Now when people walk in the door he’s showing them “LOOK at DAT!  Do you see dat ornament? I MADE DAT!”

We’ve  also discovered that shrinky dinks can make some pretty awesome gifts for loved ones…  but that’ll have to be a January retrospective post.

.

And finally, when construction paper and glue sticks and incredible cookie creations (seriously – check out my mom blog for pics of the most elaborately decorated Christmas cookies of all time.  It was a tough call on whether they should go over there or over here.  Works. Of. Art.) and science experiments with plastic and heat are just not enough, it’s time to pull out the big guns – poster paints and sponge stamps.  Oh, yes – we made our own wrapping paper.

Making it was fun, but photographing it was a freaking hoot –

This roll of brown paper was significantly cheaper than fancy wrapping paper, the process was fun, and I think the end result rocks.  I would love to get a present wrapped in this.  My holiday shopping list is getting smaller and smaller – no more cards, no more wrapping paper… what else can I force the kids to make for me so I can save a buck?

.

Oh Mommy!  What are you doing?  Are you taking pictures of our paper?  We want to be in the pictures, too!

Uh, ok – but how are you going to get in a picture of paper?  Do you want to hold it, or…. oh.  Interesting.

.

Laying on the paper.  Not the direction I thought we were going to go. Ok, we can do this, but can you maybe  get your fingers out of your mouth, Boo?  And V – what’s with the evil Grinchy-Claus smile?  If we’re gonna do this, let’s do it right.  Big smiles, everyone!

.

Huh.  No.  Really, guys, can you just look up at me and smile?  No binocular eyes?  No big heart with the hands?  Just, you know, smiling for the camera?  So I can get a nice picture?  Of you and your paper?  Please?  Yes?  Ok – here we go…

Another thing going on here – Jonas refused to put on a shirt because he wanted his “nickels” to be in the picture.  He’s very proud of those nickels, and he’d like the internet at large to be able to appreciate them as we do.  So, internet, enjoy the nickels.  Merry Christmas.

.

GUYS!  You know, Santa’s watching!  Oh, nevermind.  Let’s wrap the presents.

Yes, Jonas can spell and write his name now.  My baby.  Sniff.  (I love how when he ran out of room, he just put the S right on top of the N and A.  He’s two (for another 9 days), cut him some slack.)

.

Fabulous!  Next we will have to work on replacing all these shiny bows with something made out of paper.  Ooh!  Or yarn! Hmmm….

Hope you all are having a fab holiday season, and that you’re not being exposed to Shrek the Halls nearly as much as I am.  Merry merry.

-J